Saturday, March 27, 2010

Hi...


...I've never written a blog in my entire life ("Blogs? I don't have so much time out of lazying around doing nothing!!"). I fashion myself as a simple guy who hates complexities. And blogs to me were complex. “Complex?!?” you ask? Yeah, they’re complex. It’s hard for someone like me to pen their feelings down into words. I find it hard to share my integral thoughts and I bottle them up and shove them in a neat stack somewhere deep in my mind, never to be heard from again. But I’m wrong. They come back to me. They haunt me when I’m alone. They call me to themselves, into that insanity which is another part of me. My worse half, you could say. So in my struggle to free my sane self, I write. I write stuff which is not necessarily my feelings. I like to experiment.



I started writing when I was small; around the age of 8 or 9 maybe, I don’t remember. My first poem was in bengali titled “Aami Akjon Bangali Bhai” which I lost somewhere and I’ve been looking for it for more than 10 years, and I’m still optimistic. I wrote some more poems around that age, about a girl liked, penning my feelings into a childish array of words. I’ll post those poems too, but please don’t laugh at me because of them: at that point of time rhyming was more important than making sense…



Oh! I completely drifted off my main point: the reason for this blog. Well, simply put, a friend suggested it. I had stopped writing for a long time (reason unknown) but lately I started writing again (maybe I reached the capacity of that bottle I was talking about) and I wrote a few poems which I showed to my friends and they liked it. So I decided to keep on writing, I love the masochist feeling when I’m alone and I hurt myself in my imagination just to imagine what it would feel like. I long for that impatient feeling when I’m racking my brain for words which might express a fraction of my feelings (Do I sound like an addict here?). My blog is a stochastic list of inane verses (the inane feel sometimes succeeds to mask the deeper meaning) which might be cognition to understanding my thoughts. Well, I’ve said a lot. No idea how much sense I made as I’m still half asleep…

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